Chapter 5%
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I think of Pam less and less now.
Actually, she was wrong about one thing->
I do like children. Very much.
Every day after work, I play games with the local kids and tell them stories.
Their laughter is infectious, and bit by bit, I find myself smiling more too.
Life here is harsh, but in a strange way, it helps you forget past troubles.
I’ve come to enjoy this place.
Back then, my days revolved around work and family.
I constantly reminded myself not to let Pam’s mother down, and to be the husband she entrusted me to be.
I was drained–physically, and mentally.
Insomnia haunted me every night.
But now, I don’t have to carry that weight anymore.
For the first time in years, I feel relaxed->
as if I’ve been reborn.
Then, a month later, Pam called.
Right away, she admitted her mistakes, asking softly when I’d return.
Treplied calmly, “Have you signed the divorce papers?”
Her voice cracked.
“Why won’t you forgive me? I only agreed with Van because I pitied him. Even though I had his child, my heart has always loved you.”
I let out a sharp laugh.
“Pam, do you even hear yourself?}
You say you love me, yet you had a child with another man?}
You brought him and that child into our home–our home–and you call that love?“}]
She tried to explain.
“Van was diagnosed with a terminal illness. He begged me on his knees… I couldn’t say no.“@
Her voice broke into sobs.
“I know I was wrong. Please, tell me what I can do to earn your forgiveness.”
I asked coldly, “If you truly want forgiveness, are you willing to cut ties with Van–and abandon the child?”
Silence.
I gave a cold smile and hung up.”
Do you expect forgiveness without sacrifice?
Life doesn’t work that way.
Half a month later, I saw her again.
She looked worn out.
The glow she once had was gone–replaced by exhaustion and age far beyond her years.
I frowned. “Why are you here?“!
The irritation in my voice made her flinch. She forced a smile.
“I came to see you, I-”
I cut her off.D
“Did you sign the divorce agreement? And stop calling me ‘husband.‘ That ended a long time ago.”
Her eyes welled up immediately. She reached out to grab my hand.
I stepped back, face blank.
Tears poured down her cheeks.)
“I’ve completely cut ties with Van. I even sent the child to an orphanage. I’ll devote myself to you from now on.“@ “You sent the child to an orphanage?” I stared at her, stunned.
That was her own flesh and blood.”
“Pam, after all these years, I’ve finally seen who you really are–a cruel woman.”}
She looked shocked. “Didn’t you say… didn’t you want me to send him away?”
“Don’t put that on me,” I said coldly. “I never told you to send him to an orphanage.”}
I turned to walk away.
But she grabbed me again, her voice raw and broken.
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She looked shocked. “Didn’t you say… didn’t you want me to send him away?“}
“Don’t put that on me,” I said coldly. “I never told you to send him to an orphanage.”“]
I turned to walk away.
But she grabbed me again, her voice raw and broken.
“Why?” she cried. “I cut ties with Van, I gave up my child. Why won’t you forgive me? What more do you want from me? What else can I do?”
She collapsed to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.
I looked down at her, unmoved.
“Because you’re already dirty.”)
The words hit her like a thunderclap.
She trembled, then suddenly sprang up and threw her arms around me.]
“No! My heart is clean. I’ve always loved you!“W
