Chapter 12
I had spent thirty years working like a mule–raising a family, holding the house together, putting everyone else first.?
Finally, my son got married, my grandson started school and I thought maybe–just maybe–it was time for me.
So I mustered the courage to ask my husband, “Do you remember that promise you made me thirty years ago? About traveling the world together?”
He looked uncomfortable, then shook his head. “Michelle… we’re not young anymore. Can you stop being so childish?“&
My son and daughter–in–law gave me a look–half pity, half irritation. “Mom, we need you here. Be good, okay? Don’t go chasing things that don’t matter.”
I didn’t argue. I just nodded.
That night, I happened to see my husband’s phone.
There it was: a flight confirmation.
Five tickets: My husband, My son and his wife, My grandson and my sister, Nelly.
They were leaving in five days. In that moment, something inside me cracked.
Five days later, I packed their bags, gave them all the reminders they needed and drove them to the airports
Just before boarding, my son turned to me and smiled.
“Mom, the house is in your hands. We’ll bring you back something nice, okay?”
I watched as they walked off–my husband side by side with Nelly, my grandson clinging to her hand.”
When they disappeared into the terminal, I turned around, went home and sold the house.
Then I booked myself a one–way ticket out of the country. I have decided, the trip around the world I waited thirty years for?
I finally gave it to myself.
–D
“Michelle, you’re not young anymore. You can’t just get these wild ideas and run with them. Just because Nelly’s always flying around the world, doesn’t mean you should start chasing after her,” Bruno said.
After setting down his accordion with a weary sigh, he continued, “She’s an artist–traveling is part of her work. But you’re just a housewife.“2
He didn’t say that just to be cruel. He really believed that was my reality.
“You have to understand our situation,” he went on. “Our son’s stuck in a rough patch with his career, Hans has school and Nelly–well, she’s on her own, no family ties, no responsibilities. You don’t have it the same, Michelle.“>
Before his words even had time to settle, our son chimed in.
“Mom, come on. This is your time where you’re supposed to be content with your family–kids, grandkids around you. Why go tire yourself out trying to travel at your age? You should be relaxing at home. Let us take care of you.“I
My hands paused in the sink, submerged in cold water. The cracked skin on my fingers–chapped and raw from years of chores–stung like fire. I gritted my teeth, ignored the pain and quietly placed the dishes into the sterilizer.
Just as I stepped out of the kitchen, I caught my grandson’s voice, loud and unmistakably annoyed.
“I don’t want Grandma to pick me up from school anymore. She always looks messy and she smells like old cooking oil. She’s not like Grandma Nelly. She’s pretty and classy and always smells like flowers. The other kids are jealous when she comes. But they wouldn’t care if Grandma Michelle comes…”
Hans words hit harder than they should have. But maybe, deep down, they just confirmed what I already knew.
It was like someone had hit “mute” on the room.
Hans’s voice cut off so suddenly, it left a ringing silence behind. No one moved afterwards.
After a long pause, Bruno finally spoke, his voice measured. “Kids say thoughtless things, Michelle. Don’t take it to heart. Hans is still young–l have a talk with him.“%
But the silence didn’t last long.%
Hans piped up again, louder this time. “Grandma Nelly travels for competitions–that’s important. Mom and Dad work–that’s important. Grandpa plays in a band–that’s important. But Grandma Michelle doesn’t do anything. Grandpa, you’re the one who told me that! So why are you yelling at me now?”
As soon as the words left his mouth, all eyes turned to me.!!
I just stood there, frozen. My mind went blank. It took me a while to collect myself. Then, without a word, I turned and walked slowly back to the bedroom.
1 sat on the edge of the bed, opened my palms and stared at my hands–rough, callused, cracked from years of labor.
And for the first time, I have doubts.
Every day, I woke at six to buy groceries. Breakfast for the family was ready by seven. At seven–thirty, I walked Hans to school. Then it was laundry, mopping, scrubbing, organizing. When that was done, it was time to start on lunch.
After serving the meal, I did the dishes, laid down for a short nap, then rushed out to pick Hans up again
Dinner prep came right after Repeat. Day after day.
