Chapter 8%
The atmosphere was great right from the beginning. Everyone quickly warmed up to each other. As I mingled with the group, it felt like I had shed decades off my age.
That’s when I met Judith, a young woman who was 23 and fresh out of college. She told me this trip was her graduation gift to herself. She asked me why I was traveling alone. I thought about it for a moment and replied, “Fifty is the perfect time to find yourself.” We kept talking and over time, I opened up to her more.”
Maybe that’s what happens as you get older–you’ve learned the hard way and you just want to pass on a little advice to younger women.
“Don’t give yourself up for anyone. Always put yourself first.”
When I looked at her, I couldn’t help but think of my younger self, full of dreams and endless possibilities.
When we were young, they told us to work hard, get married, have children and build a family.
Once we were married with kids, they told us to focus on the children, to lay the path for their future.
Then, when the kids grew up and grandkids arrived, they said, “Help the children, don’t be selfish now that you’re older.“>
As I thought about it, it seemed like those chains were only around me. Nelly didn’t have them. Bruno didn’t have them.
As long as I kept giving without limits, they could keep chasing their dreams. After all, I was always there to clean up the mess, to pick up the pieces.
I did it so often, for so long, that it became second nature. It just belonged to me. But I didn’t want that anymore.
That night, in the Aetherflow Reefs, Judith ordered me a cocktail. Everything felt new and exciting to me, like a child stepping into school for the first time,§
“Aunt Michelle, fifty is the new fabulous! You’re in your prime! When we get back home, I’ll take you out for some fun. There are plenty of men in the big cities. Who needs sons or husbands? They can all go to hell!“}
I raised my glass and laughed, feeling truly happy.
“Let them all go to hell.”
But the happiness didn’t last long. A call from home came through.
Today was the day they were supposed to be back.
Since I blocked them that day, they hadn’t made any effort to reach out. I didn’t have to guess; I knew exactly what they “Michelle’s not going to make a scene. Let’s not let her ruin our trip.”
Were thinking:
What they didn’t realize was that at my age, any outburst left inside was a final one. This time, it was going to change everything.}
I decided to pick up the call. It was my son on the other end.
“Mom, what the hell are you doing? Who told you you could sell the house? Have you lost your mind?” His voice was cracking–rushed, panicked, like he was spiraling.”
“Did you really have to take it this far? What are we supposed to do now? Did you even think before pulling this stunt? How are we supposed to live like this?” Then came my daughter–in–law, trying to sound calm but barely holding it together.”
“Mom, please, let’s not be rash. Just come back and let’s talk this through. Hans is exhausted, he’s just a kid, he can’t handle all this chaos. Could you at least hold off on the house stuff for now? Let’s deal with things one step at a time, okay?”
In the background, Hans’s voice broke through, crying hard. “Grandma is mean! She’s mad we got to go on a trip and now she wants to ruin everything! i hate Grandma!“}
Bruno? He hadn’t said a word.”
There was chaos on the other end–arguing, doors slamming, muffled shouting. I waited. When it finally quieted down, I seized the moment.
“This house was mine. Legally, fully, mine. I worked for it. I paid for it. So tell me what gives any of you the right to question what I do with it?“%
Silence.
And then Bruno’s voice, sharp and seething, cut through. “Michelle, I’ve had enough. Look at everything you’ve stirred up these past few weeks. Why can’t you just do something right for once? Why is it always drama, always a mess when it comes to you?”
de Knowen, This Famely Worth to Tears
