Chapter 47
Chapter 47
Lila
I slipped past the last row of hedges and walked until the sounds of the palace faded behind me, trading marble and mirrors for grass and dusk. The outer gardens were quiéter this time of evening, even my breath sounded too loud in my ears.
The scent trial had left my insides feeling raw and exposed. It felt like I’d peeled off a layer of my own skin and handed it over in a vial.
Now I didn’t know quite what to do with myself.
I perched on the edge of the low fountain wall, fingers trailing in the water. It was cold. Soothing, almost. The bowl I’d used was still tucked under my arm, and I set it beside me, letting the wind do what it wanted with the final traces of my truth.
“Are you hiding again?” came a low voice behind me.
I flinched, even before I turned. Damon stood a few feet away, his posture loose but the tension in him unmistakable. That same unreadable expression he always wore, only this time… it burned around the edges.
“I’m not hiding,” I said, voice quieter than I intended. “I just needed some air.”
“You’re always needing air. Especially after you see me.”
I stood, pulse flickering. “That’s not fair.”
His eyes pinned me. “Isn’t it?”
We stared at each other, silence stretching like wire between us. I tried to find something casual to say, something that would give me space without unraveling the last thread I was holding…but nothing came.
“I liked your scent blend,” he said after a beat. “Didn’t expect it to be so… clear.”
“I didn’t make it for you,” I replied, sharper than I meant to.
“I didn’t say you did.” But the way his voice dipped–low and even–made me think he had wanted it to be. Or feared it was.
I crossed my arms. “Why are you here?”
“Because you keep avoiding me.”
“I’m not-”
L
“You are.” He stepped closer, eyes narrowed. “You’ve been dodging me again. You ask for things you don’t want, you look at me half the time like I’m the -enemy, then like I’m all you want… and then you disappear.”
“I disappear,” I echoed. He was right, but for all the wrong reasons. If Vanessa caught word of us here, alone together, she wouldn’t wait for her private meeting to share my identity.
“I’m just another piece on the board, Damon.” It broke my heart a little to say it, but I needed to get away.
Something flickered in his jaw. “You think I don’t see you?”
“No,” I said. “I think you don’t want to.”
He didn’t reply, but his gaze locked with mine, and I swore he was trying to see inside me.
I took a breath, then another, trying to steady my voice. “I’m not playing this game. Not like this.”
1/3
Chapter 47
“What game?” His voice was a low growl now.
“The one where feelings are leverage,” I said, voice trembling with heat. “Where affection is strategy. Where people are tools and not… not people. My frustration with my father and Vanessa bubbled to the surface and I wasn’t sure I was talking about Damon anymore.
His expression didn’t change, but I saw the stillness that overtook him. He was an Alpha wolf scenting something dangerous and unfamiliar
“You think I want to be Luna so I can be owned? Paraded? Controlled?” I went on, each word cutting loose something sharp I’d kept buried. “I don’t want to be Queen if it means belonging to someone who sees love as a nuisance.”
The moonlight caught on the tension in his throat as he swallowed. Still, he said nothing.
I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. “You say you see me, but you haven’t asked once what I want.”
A breeze stirred between us, tugging at the hem of my skirt.
“I want to be chosen,” I said. “Not used. Not tolerated. Not evaluated like a potential weapon.”
Damon’s mouth parted like he was going to speak–but no sound came out. And that silence, it gutted me.
I should’ve stopped there. Should’ve turned and left before t gave any more of myself away. But I was too full of fire and heartbreak, and the words kept
coming.
“If you ever figure out what it means to be loved instead of obeyed…” I said, voice tight, “maybe then, you’ll be someone I could choose too.”
Damon’s entire body stilled. Not the kind of freeze that came with anger, but the kind that came when someone’s world tilted beneath them.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to scream or sob. Maybe both. I turned, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of seeing either.
The gravel crunched under my bare feet as I walked away, each step heavier than the last. I didn’t look back, not even when the silence stretched thick behind me. I couldn’t, because if I did I might crumble. I might take it all back.
But I meant it.
I didn’t want to be loved like a possession. Like something valuable and untouchable. I wanted to be chosen for who I was–not the daughter Henry molded, not the fake name branded onto my skin. Just me.
And I wanted Damon to be the kind of man who could understand that. I didn’t know if he was.
The garden loomed wide and quiet as I moved through it, moonlight slicking across the tiled paths. I found myself beneath the rose arch before I realized where I was going.
L
My hands trembled as I sank onto the low stone bench, the coolness grounding me. A shaky breath escaped my lungs, and I buried my face in my hands.
Behind my ribs, Ruby paced.
He didn’t speak, I told her. Not one word.
He heard you.
That’s not the same.
No, she agreed, her voice low and steady. But he didn’t walk away. You did. Ruby growled the last words at me, angry that we weren’t still with Damon.
I stayed on the bench for a while, long after the breeze cooled and the moon rose higher in the sky.
Eventually, I stood. My legs were stiff, my breath still too loud in the quiet. As I made my way back toward the palace, the lights from the upper balcony caught my eye–dim, flickering, like someone had left a candle burning long past when it should’ve been snuffed out.
14:04 Mon, 2 Jun M
Chapter 47
Was he still there? Watching? Regretting? Or just planning for another selection trial?
I didn’t know. In that moment I was too tired to care.
I caught a flicker of movement, a shadow that slipped behind the trellis just as I passed it. I paused, listening.
Nothing emerged from the darkness, and I didn’t hear anything more. But now I couldn’t stop my mind from racing, wondering if someone had heard. The weight of my words, my confession, my challenge to a King, it might be trouble enough to get me kicked out of this selection.
I shook my head and continued back inside. What’s done is done, and if someone did hear, I could only hope it was Vanessa and she thought it was a performance to keep her satisfied.
Back in my room, I left the lights off. I undressed slowly, methodically, like I could peel off the day with every button and thread.
When I lay down, I didn’t reach for the blanket. Just stared at the ceiling and tried to hold myself together.
For the girl who still dared to want something real. Even now.
Even after everything I still, deep down, dared.
