Chapter 9
It felt like my heart had been pricked by a needle.
I looked at Rafael, and he seemed like a stranger to me now. “Rafael, since this is how you think of me, then I don’t think we have anything left to discuss.”
I turned to leave, but Rafael grabbed my hand in a panic. “Lily, I was just being impulsive earlier. Don’t take it to heart.”
“I know I was wrong. Please, just come home with me.”
I pulled my hand away from his grip and scoffed. “Rafael, you‘ ve always been the one trying to push me away.”
“On New Year’s Eve, you kicked me out of the car to send Jenna a million–dollar firework display. You never went to a single prenatal checkup with me, and you watched as I suffered an allergic reaction and struggled to breathe. You‘ re the one
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who crushed my hand and stopped me from playing the piano.”
“Rafael, do you know why I had the abortion? It’s because of all the things
you did! You, just like my father, don‘ t deserve to be a father.”
Rafael knew about my father’s infidelity- he had cheated on my mother and was abusive, both physically and emotionally. Growing up under his shadow had been traumatic, and it left me with a lonely, withdrawn personality.
A father who didn’t love me made me fear that my own child would suffer the same fate.
Rafael stood there, seemingly
overwhelmed with guilt as he recalled all the harm he had caused. Tears welled in his eyes as he slapped himself hard across the face. “Lily, I was wrong. Please forgive me. I really was a beast back then!”
“Lily, hit me if you want to, but just forgive
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- me. I promise I’ll be a good father. I will love our child more than anything.”
Rafael knelt on the ground, hoping that his display of suffering would earn me a bit of sympathy. But he had had countless
chances to make amends before.
Now, I would never soften toward him.
I looked at him and sneered. “Rafael, someone like you doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.”
After that day, Rafael didn’t chase after
- me.
I watched his trembling figure as he cried, and suddenly, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.
I had once loved him deeply, but he had hurt me like this. Yet the pain he endured was nothing compared to the agony I had suffered before.
After visiting my teacher, I returned to the small house I had bought for myself.
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Inside, there was the piano my mother had gifted me.
I had someone clean it every month, but seeing how spotless it was still surprised
- me.
I opened the piano and played a few notes, only to realize that it sounded unexpectedly beautiful.
After I had taken the piano to the shop for repairs, I had never found the time to play it again.
Sitting in front of the piano, I played the song my mother loved most.
As I finished, I heard soft applause from behind me. Reflexively, I turned around, only to find Rafael standing there.
His expression immediately turned frantic. “Lily, I just wanted to quietly stay by your side.”
“I fixed the piano your mother gave you. I clean this house every day. Lily, I’ve really
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been waiting for you to come back.”
Looking at the clean house, I immediately understood why it looked so spotless–it was Rafael who had been cleaning it.
He looked at me with hopeful eyes, expecting my praise.
A cold breeze swept through, causing my hands to cramp. Rafael immediately grabbed my hand in concern. “Lily, what’s wrong?”
I pulled my hand back and coldly stared at him. “It’s all thanks to you.”
Rafael looked at me with disbelief and guilt.
“Back then, you broke my hand for Jenna. Every winter when the cold wind blows, my hand aches so badly it feels like it’s frozen to the bone.”
During those years abroad, there were times when the pain was so unbearable that I wanted to die.
